twelve: overwhelming

so many things have been happening to me these days it's really hard to keep up. i think most of it are things which i've brought upon myself so there's probably no one to blame except myself. like the people whom i allow to walk into my lives. not sure where things are going, what's happening.

so many expectations to fulfill and so many "ideal lives" to live it's impossible. i'd like to have a backbone to stand up for the things that i am so far and to stop seeking for a different me.

it's amazing how other people's lives seem so much more interesting that whatever i'm doing. and there's so little which i can do about it anyway. what am i saying? i don't know.

i think this brooding mood is quite useless. no point complaining here because nothing is going to change.