fourteen: stupid mistake

ok, i made this stupid mistake standing in front of this girl i liked looking like some dumbass from Raffles. yeah, i bet she was going typical, just typical of a raffles boy to do this. heck, even i would have thought that had i witnessed myself. i feel so so stupid. and that's not the worst part.

she was at the fruit store and somehow she took the wrong drink. she took the drink of the guy before her and the guy was being prissy by not being a gentlemen and taking hers. a matter of starfruit and pineapple. rhapsody of starfruit and pineapple. what a bastard. i bet he's not allergic to pineapple anyway. and so there she was in quite a fix and there i was just standing there not saying anything, staring at the debacle before me, establishing myself as the stupid, ungracious, ungentlemenly, un-suave, uncouth, un-everything-that's-good person that i not am. so guess what, some other guy my age, in my faculty, who is in no greater capacity than me - as in, he's not older and hence maturity is not an excuse - offers to buy the drink.

HELLO DEDRICK! OBVIOUSLY YOU DO THAT! NOT STARE!

but it did go through my mind that such was the right thing to do. i just didn't do it. why? why? why? i can't understand.

and now do you agree about how stupid i am. all that time spent with her yesterday and over the past two weeks oh, hey, i hear it going down the drain. grrr...... i'm such a useless guy and so undependable and so hopeless and so so very feckless. i don't think i can depend on myself anymore. this is all so very bad for things between her and me.

you know when i could have volunteered to be ground by the blender and washed under in starfruit and pineapple juice? when the fruit juice aunty said "oh, you're so sweet" to the armour adorning knight, after saving his fair maiden. aaahhh! nnnnnooooo!

i am but a jester. and this is not even funny. sob.