forty: again

i really should be getting ready to sleep now. have to do the pre-sleep ritual, bathe, write my journal, do some quiet time. what am i doing now? nothing really? just online wasting some time.

and tomorrow is friday. friday is good because that means i'll be going home and i'll have good efficient internet access there, and not this slow one which doesn't allow me to play WoW. it's kinda sad, yes, i agree. for some it's drugs, others smoking, i guess it's the lesser evil.

listening to come what may.

there's however, anatomy practical tomorrow and i really really dislike that. all that formalin is really destroying me. for 2 hours i stop breathing through my nose, only taking the occasional sniff when i feel adventurous enough and then coughing, no choking, incessantly like it's the plague and i'm dying.

the song's at it's chorus.

i wonder who actually reads this blog. am i ranting to no one in particular. on one hand, i'd like people to read this but on the other, i know the more people read this the more careful i have to be. and anyway, it's not like i have that many friends anyway. whatever. bah. argh.

there are so many things i want now. a driver's license. new shoes. new clothes. a holiday, yes, i want to leave this country real bad and have a change of environment. friends to be with me right now, at this moment. and in case i get everything i ask for here, i'll throw in happiness and world peace.

there is this insatiable desire to delete everything here. 21 minutes to the new day. but only according to the computer clock. who cares what the computer clock says.

the song's over but i'm replaying it again.