thirty-eight: bah

i should really stop being obsessive about everything in the world. it's darn silly and at the end of it, being obsessive never really helps anything, except give me a migraine with all the unnecessary thought put into something so simple. and maybe my seeing too much in every single thing destroys the very thing itself. oh dear, i've always been like this and my closest friends have always told me to snap out of it because of it's destructiveness.

...

meanwhile, reading and WoW shall be the opiate which will distract my senses. i should add studying because that would be beneficial in other ways, hmm. but still, reading is best. literature is a higher form of self help, as my friend used to say.

and medicine is irritating me because i feel so deficient in what makes us throughly human. where is the personal touch of it. we're trying to be doctors but i feel like everything is mechanical and can be solved with some formula. where is the beauty of life?

and still i feel like there is no difference between going to school nowadays and sitting at home to study. where is the human touch? i feel there is some gap between everyone. everyone's too caught up in work that we're losing the special moments which i think we'd all want to have. it's like already, we're colleagues.

all this is no good. i have become a cantankerous coffee shop uncle with my butt and my feet on the wooden stool, a coffee black in one hand, and the other picking my nose.

degeneration.