forty-three: lazy sunday afternoon

it's a lazy sunday afternoon. sitting too long on my bum in the mid afternoon singaporean heat with sweat collecting on my t-shirt. could really use some air-conditioning but then it may get too cold. well, it's a crazy world anyway.

i remember how i'd use to feel that the days before any major tests would be unnaturally calm and slow. a dip in the excitement leading up to the tests. a break before the final push during the paper itself. and then after that, release. calm before a storm and after too. but somehow this one feels different.

i was very amused over the last few weeks by the seriousness people are taking the coming CAs. me included. just read my previous paragraph and i guess you'd be able to tell that this CA is being compared to all those other major exams. people are sending "jia you" messages, encouraging people. there's the usual bunch of people who will skip lessons the week following the exam. no, it's not that they're psychotic and if you were an insider instead of an outsider, you'd somehow understand. it's just that this is really and truly the atmosphere now.

and all this for just a CA which pales in comparison to even the small class tests of the past. almost everything is an MCQ which numbers far less then the average SAT paper. the whole examination process will not even last the length of the two math papers of the A Levels. but yet, something is different now. something inexplicable.

it's not easy to break away from this cauldron of pressure. positive feedback. the pressure grows as more people catch it, as i'm sure you're able to understand.