forty-two: a semester over

it's hard to believe that one semester of medical school is actually over. it's one tenth of the entire course and i like to believe that's fairly substantial. it's amazing how the simple passage of time can bring you from one place to another. time is the most amazing transporter, better than cars or buses or anything else. it's not bumpy, you barely feel it in the long term; it's so dependable, you always know where you're going. the problem sometimes is you don't want to go there.

the last day of school felt really weird for me. it wasn't like JC, but then again, so much is different. no fanfare, no cheer, no resurgent mood which you subconciously feel everywhere within the confines of a mass populace knowing that idleness, relaxation and rest is within reach. it was sombre, in part because the exams are next week, but also because i think there's just this sense that people have their own things to do and that you don't have any business to do with it. maybe people keep to themselves and their group of friends more. most definitely, people study a lot more, and honestly, i don't see how you can possibly involve too many friends in such an activity. but anyway, there's just this lack of cohesion that was present before in school.

no i'm not being a jock and looking for school spirit or anything. i really don't care about that. i find it hard to explain but it's just that feeling of being comfortable with each other. it's like school is this big lecture theatre and you don't really know everyone so you slide into the background and wait for the lecturer to start. and everyday is like that. there isn't a sense of being comfortable with your surroundings.

haha i'm surprised i actually got to this topic. i meant to say something else. wonder if i should but that would be quite random and i'd seem rather schizo. oh well. i need a good short book. stress on short, not good. if it's short enough maybe by the time i realise it's terrible, i'd have been done reading it.