forty-five: christmas

i think christmas this year has been somewhat special compared to most years. i don't think i ever celebrated christmas the way i have this year, by attending concerts, or choral performances. but somehow there was a search for what i've always dreamed christmas to be, complete with the friends and the warm christmas spirit.

as i write this, charles dicken's famous christmas carol is playing on the hallmark channel. a christmas tree adorned with ornaments, crystal balls and other little glass things stands not far from where i am. i guess the point of all this is to somehow find that spirit of christmas, which is really something i wait all year for, yet only comes for a fleeting one day, and almost never lives up to all the pre-christmas hype.

but i think this year has been different, and so i'm here reliving the moments, trying to remember the times when i have felt that glimmer or a christmas spirit. whether it was listening to an arousing orchestral chrsitmas medley rendition, or watching the christmas carol played out in front of me, or immersing myself in a choir of popular christmas songs, and finally, with the simple act of going to church, i think i can put together small moments of christmas-ness. and friends, who make all the difference.

i've had a good christmas this year.