fifty-nine: much has happened

wow, it's been my longest break from writing something here. so long i actually forgot the URL to sign in.

to have 4 months of rest ahead of me at the start of april was always a blessing although the lack of promotion security at the time didn't make the break seem like 4 months. still, even if i count the holidays as starting from the time the results were released, i guess 3 months is still going to be more copious then i have ever experienced.

i've had bouts of waking up in the morning and attempting to make myself not take the holidays for granted. what i do is i try to tell myself that if school had started i wouldn't be able to just sit there and "wake up" for real, i'd be scrambling to get bathed and changed. but it's so hard to really project yourself into what you're not experiencing now.

last week when there were some courses and hence the need to return to school, i felt this measure of dread because the change of lifestyle from weeks of being able to decide what to do for the day to having the timetable planned for you felt like too sudden a change. i think what that really meant was that i had taken the holidays for granted already. the problem with school is that it represents a significant reduction in the number of experiences i can have in a day.

still the holidays have been great. i've managed to reconnect with my secondary school classmates through floorball every saturday and i've been out of the country, albeit just to malaysia a number of times, and also that i've done a whole lot of new things i've never done before.