sixty-two:

things don't always make sense, and are often not thought thouroughly through, yet sometimes we crash in life knowingly, expectantly, just hoping, and perhaps wrongly, that because we are still young and have time on our side, that it will eventually redeem us of whatever pain we cause to ourselves and others.

what hurts me most inside is that we will no longer make any lasting memory together.

sixty-one: how did one year of medicine pass so uninspiringly by?

something felt lacking as i flipped through photos i took from the year 2004, when i was still in JC. armed only with a primitive point and shoot camera before the days of my digital one, i ended up with hardly perfect shots. many were often blur, shaky and it needed my annotations on the side to make out what the photo was all about.

most of my photos then were about the many things my class used to do. this birthday celebration in the swensen's at holland v (one too many in that same place now i realise), or that class outing to a poshier restuarant to mark the end of the common test. i guess that's what i wish i have, a place where all was familiar and warm. a group of friends i'd be able to meet regularly, daily, people whom i knew and people who knew me.

one year of medicine has gone and another has come by. why don't i see myself wishing that medicine school would stay on forever the way i wish that i could bring myself back to those gates of rjc, put on my uniform, and enjoy the unexpectedness of each day. medicine has been methodical, safe, and stale.

what will another year do to me?